Some clients wonder why they always seem to attract narcissists. That has a lot to do with the way that you act. Whether you want a narcissist in your life, or want to learn how to get away, here are five things you do that makes narcissists addicted to you.
Make Yourself Their Prize
Narcissists are initially attracted to their mates because of the potential for increased social standing. And will move on when they find someone else who they perceive to be more valuable to them.
Remember, your status is relative to theirs, and that doesn’t always mean you have to be rich or popular to be targeted by a narcissist. For a broke or lonely narcissist, just someone with a job and friends is enough to make them interested.
Addicting a narcissist means keeping up appearances by —
- Having a large and attractive friend group
- Keeping up with fashion
- Wearing expensive jewelry, watches, or makeup
- Keep fit and show off your body
For the narcissist, in all cases, looks are more important than substance. You don’t have to have a lot of money or have any real friendships, so long as it looks like you do.
More info on how to achieve this look here:
Play Hot and Cold with Them
Narcissists love to play emotional games destined to dominate you and make you addicted to them. Turn the tables on them and use their tricks against them.
One effective means that narcissists use to control people is going hot and cold suddenly and without warning. One moment doting on them, adoring them, talking them up. And the next ignoring them, acting indifferent to their presence, seeming to dislike them.
This hot and cold behavior is the same way that Tyler and Edward Norton’s charter treated Marla in Fight Club. Like two completely different people in the same body.
Take Part in Their Drama
The narcissist psychology is addicted to drama, and they will stir it up whenever they can. They also love people who bring the drama, which is where you come in.
How do you stir up drama? For example
- Cheating on them
- Flirting in front of them
- Making accusations against them of any kind
- Participating in office politics
- Spreading rumors
All of this entices them and makes them addicted to the energy that you bring. To learn why the love drama, read:
Show a Willingness to be Controlled and Manipulated
Another thing that makes narcissists obsessed with you is your willingness to be manipulated by them. Many narcissists will stick around otherwise uninteresting people because they feel confident that they can control them.
People that are easily controlled or manipulated:
- Look to others for validation
- Avoid conflict at all cost
- Put everyone else before themselves
- Accept what others say about them without question
- Don’t have a supportive foundation of friends and family
If you fit into this category of person, then you will have great difficulty getting away from narcissists because they will be addicted to having you around to torment.
What makes a narcissist attracted to you?
Narcissists are attracted to people with good looks and the perception of high value. They also love individuals who feed their need for drama and their desire to control the people they are with.