Those of you who have experienced the pain that I’ve felt dating a narcissist may wonder why they always seem to be one corner of a narcissistic love triangle. Rather than feeling bad about cheating, narcissists feel empowered by having multiple lovers. Here are the reasons why narcissists constantly build love triangles in their lives.
Love Triangles Give Narcissists An Out If You Dump Them
Narcissists fear rejection more than anything, and think about ways to avoid failure all day, every day. No matter how loving, accepting, and loyal you have been, nothing you do will convince a narcissist deep down that you aren’t liable to dump them at any moment.
Being in an intimate relationship is a very vulnerable position for anyone. No one wants to experience the shame of being dumped by their boyfriend or girlfriend. But, narcissists cannot bear the risk and lack of security.
To take maters in their own hands, narcissists frequently take on multiple romantic partners, even in the midst of a marriage or long term monogamous relationship. Having another partner in the wings protects the narcissist — in their mind — because they can always claim they dumped you for the other person should you make any move to leave them.
The twisted thinking of narcissist makes it preferable to cheat and be the one leaving, rather than being the one who is left.
Having Two Lovers Makes Narcissist Feel Superior
Narcissists often use relationships as a symbol of status. When a narcissist begins a new relationship, they often do so to make themselves look good.
Early in a relationship, the narcissist will put you on a pedestal, bragging to other people about you and showing you off in public.
Later on, this behavior will change as they no longer get the egoistic high that they used to have around you. Instead, they will begin to feel threatened or the need to control you.
Most of the time, the narcissist will start looking for a new and exciting relationship around this time. If they find one, they may attempt to keep both going as a way of getting double the ego boost.
Being desired by multiple people is proof to the narcissist that they are valuable, since man people desire them.
For more info signs and motivations that lead a narcissist in to a new relationships, see “Narcissism in Relationships | What it Means to Love a Narcissist”.
Narcissists Feel Secure Knowing They Can Use the Love Triangle Against You
Cheating on you is a embarrassing ammunition the narcissist can use against you if they need to. Narcissists constantly look for things they can use to control their victims.
While it is clearly morally wrong on the part of the narcissist to cheat — and they should be the ones embarrassed by it — narcissists can turn the tables and use their infidelity to attack their romantic partners.
If you step out of line, your narcissist boyfriend or girlfriend knows that they can hurt you easily by exposing their affair. Being able to say they “never loved you” is a position of power in the mind of a narcissist, who feels like they may have to retaliate at any moment.
The Narcissist Might be “Monkey Branching” Their Way Out of the Relationship
Narcissists are know for quickly jumping from relationship to relationship. One good sign of a narcissist lover is that they come on strong and fast, and leave the same way.
When a narcissist is able, they will already have their next romantic partner lined up before they leave their current one. This behavior is sometimes called “monkey branching,” because just like a monkey climbing a tree won’t let go of one hold until they gave a firm grasp on the next branch, a narcissist won’t let go of one partner until they have a firm hold on the next.
Are Narcissists scared of relationships?
Narcissists feel vulnerable in relationships, which leads them to manipulate or cheat on their partners. At the same time, they are drawn to relationships because of the social proof that they provide, and their propensity for drama which excites them.
Why do narcissists love love triangles?
Narcissist love building love triangles because it makes them feel powerful within a relationship. It also serves as a backup, because if one relationship fails they have another to go to. Narcissists tend to move from relationship to relationship quickly, and sometimes keeping up the pace necessitates some overlap.