Today, I would like to talk about how to overcome the evil people in your life. Many times, toxic people around us can seem so overwhelming, that we have no hope of living through their toxicity. But, there is one truth we can use to guide us through even the darkest times.
There Is No Evil So Great That Love Cannot Overcome It
How Evil Seduces Us to Join Them
On this blog, I share a lot of information regarding how we as moral and ethical people can overcome the narcissist, psychopaths, sociopaths, anti-social personality disordered, and just plain toxic people in our lives. But, rarely do I take the opportunity to share methods that we can use to overcoming being a toxic person ourselves.
Evil can be an extremely seductive monster, that draws us in harder and harder as we come in to closer contact with it.
If you have ever seen the original Star Wars trilogy, you may remember the scenes when the Emperor and Darth Vader try to turn Luke to the Dark Side. The most emotional one being when Luke was with them in the throne room, watching is friends and family being destroyed — so he thought — through the window to space.
In that scene, they used all the tricks in the book —
- They made Luke feel helpless and powerless
- They lied to Luke to make him fear the loss of everything that he cares about
- They pushed Luke to forget the Love he has for is father
- They diminished the important of Luke’s framework of morals and ethics
- They feed his hate and anger
- They seduced him with the thought that Luke could hurt, harm, kill, and destroy the cause of his pain and suffering
While this story is fiction, it serves as a modern myth that points to the reality of the real life situations that all of us will encounter at some point in our time on Earth.
Why Evil will Never Overcome Evil
The biggest untruth that evil people use to bring you to their side is that their hate, fear, anger, lies, and madness somehow bring them great power and control. In fact, in both the movie and real life, it is the desire to end suffering and end evil deeds that is the root cause of so much suffering.
Good intentions will never overcome evil without good deeds.
The paradox of toxic people is that they never really believe that they themselves are the problem. They may be at the head of a multitude of despicable acts, but in their self-conception and telling of their personal mythological life’s journey they are the heroes. And, have usually suffered some “great injustice” that justifies their behavior.
So long as we make some people victims and other perpetrators, so long as there are “bad people” and not just bad acts, so long we can be right and other people wrong, then we are always at danger of being seduced by the dark side.
This isn’t to that there are not “objectively” bad deeds or bad people. Rather, it is the recognition that we as fallible humanity are not psychologically capable or morally right by condemning others. It is a form of humility that recognizes our only means of escaping the mire of evil is through humility and love.
How Love Overcomes Evil
Love is not condoning the actions of evil people. Instead, it is a mental position of strength and clarity.
So many people, now and in the past, try to fight hate with hate, leading us to become the very type of person that we originally despised. Deploring other people seduces us in to the very state of mental anguish that is the root cause of evil in this world.
Love is the pure opposite emotion that leads to liberation. In love we can —
- Accept others for who they are
- Gift compassion without expectation of reward
- Live truthfully and honestly
- Set appropriate boundaries around our thoughts and emotions
While love may seem like we are relinquishing outward control, we are focusing instead on gaining control of the only realm where we are justified in wielding our power, our minds.
Evil people have given up their minds to external forces in exchange for fleeting illusions of physical control. Loving people accept what they have no direct right to dominate the world around them, and instead claim the right and obligation to take responsibility for our minds. And, to live wholly in truth.
Doesn’t Love Put Me At Risk?
Loving others doesn’t mean that you must accept their lies, tolerate their attacks, or condone their behavior. What it means is that you will not hinge your own happiness, serenity, or compassion on their particular actions.
Living in love means that you are able to —
- Feel safe no mater the fortunes of a particular religious group, ideology, or particular party
- Break the cycle by offering kindness in response to unkindness
- Feel compassion for the compassion-less
- Accept physical, mental, or emotional loss without losing deep inner calm
We live an uncertain existence, and any attempt to force it to be otherwise is inherently authoritarian and destructive. But, by cultivating love are able to act masterfully — with unclouded judgment and inspiration — in the face of dire circumstances.
Learn to Overcome Toxic People
If this message resonates with you, or you have a toxic person in your life that you would like to learn to overcome, please join us here at Overcoming Toxic People. We offer a myriad of free resources, book recommendations, courses, and one-on-one coaching to help you through the darkest times.
For more information, go over to our resources page for up to date recommendations.