Christian narcissists are difficult to work for because they see themselves as saviors of everyone around them, but in actually cause endless trouble. If you think you have narcissistic christian boss on your hands, here is how you deal with them.
Bosses who are christian and narcissist will leverage their religion as a sign of their superiority while attempting to manipulate employees emotionally. Overcome their tactics by knowing how they work. And by using positive reinforcement to reinforce good behavior, while shunning bad behavior.
Let me share with you the tips and tricks you need to know to survive working for a narcissistic christian boss. As well as links to vital resources for turning around their bad behavior.
Christian Narcissists Use Religion as a Weapon
Christian narcissist have all the traits of typical narcissism, including —
- Self absorption
- Lack of empathy for others
- Inability to accept critique
- Propensity to lie and cheat
- An overly inflated self-esteem (although deeply they fear they aren’t good enough)
However, christian narcissists have another layer of religious teaching on top which make them more difficult to work with.
Because Christianity prizes good behavior like humility and truthfulness while exposing a particular moral code of conduct, the narcissist boss is likely to take pride in how much they “follow” these teachings. Thus, a narcissist christian is likely to seem caring and seem thoughtful, yet they truly couldn’t care less about anyone else.
Additionally, christian narcissist are likely to use christian moral codes as a hammer to beat down their opposition. Narcissistic Christians will constantly judge their employees as unworthy and “bad Christians” — no matter the truth of the situation — as a way of making themselves seem better in comparison.
Christian narcissists will also engage in other narcissist mind games that are not specific to Christians, which I describe in my other articles on the subject —
- Signs of a Narcissist | 21 Behaviors of the Classical Narcissist
- Tell-Tale Signs of a Covert Narcissist | A Fool Proof Test
Narcissist Bosses Make Bad Leaders
Narcissists often find there way in to postilions of power. Because they are generally extroverted and know how to make important people like them, the tend to come across well in a business environment.
CEOs are much more likely to be narcissists than the average person, and narcissistic CEOs make more than non-narcissistic CEOs.
Christian narcissistic bosses are also likely to have an “in” with other Christians in the congregation, and christian clients who prefer to work with individuals of the same faith. Narcissists are generally well liked by people who don’t know them well, and so these connections will generally work to their advantage.
However, what seems good about a narcissist in a business setting actually makes them toxic leaders who generally decrease the effectiveness of their organizations.
Some bad behaviors of narcissistic bosses include —
- Spreading lies and rumors
- “Forgetting” about past events or things they said
- Triangulation — bring in third parties to back up their lies or support their abuse
- Setting up excessive competition between employees
- Try to keep his workers from talking to each other
- Finding scapegoats and turning the office against them
- Knocking people down publicly if they are doing too well
- Leveraging performance reviews as a way to attack you directly
For more detail on spotting and handling a narcissistic boss, this article is very helpful
Narcissistic Christian Bosses Can’t Take Criticism
Like most narcissistic bosses, christian narcissistic bosses cannot take criticism. Even well meaning and accurate critiques will cause a narcissist to retaliate and rarely results in overall positive behavioral changes.
You cannot confront a narcissistic christian boss and expect them to get better.
Christian narcissist are even worse in this respect, because they identify with the vision of themselves as a “good christian.” While a non-religious narcissist might be proud of some their aggressive behaviors, seeing themselves as a “go getter” or “type A personality,” christian narcissists would find any such insertions insulting.
The best policy with christian narcissist bosses is to lead them recognizing the good things they do, setting positive goals with them, and not acknowledging their bad behavior.
I recommend you use a method I call narcissist “dog training,” where you use positive feedback and selective stimulus removal to ethically encourage positive behavior from a narcissist boss.
Overcoming a Christian Narcissist Takes Understanding
Narcissist christian bosses can be difficult to wrap your head around, especially if you are a christian yourself. They seem to have all the right ideas, dress the right way, and look perfect from the outside. Yet, as you get to know them better, something seems wrong.
To truth is, narcissists are deeply wounded people. Many narcissist are thought to have developed the affliction partially due to childhood trauma, or lack of proper development of the five A’s. (see How to Be an Adult in Relationships
However, while their behavior may be uncontrollable on their part, it is potentially very destructive. Don’t let their veneer of kindness lure you to fall in to there trap. Narcissists seek to manipulate and control in order to get their needs meet. And, they don’t truly care what happens to other people because if it.
Ensure You are Protected from Your Narcissistic Christian Boss
Always take steps to protect yourself from narcissists, especially narcissist bosses who can control you financially and can seriously hamper your career.
With a narcissistic boss, always —
- Document your accomplishment separately
- Find allies in the office who understand your boss is a narcissist
- Have an exit plan in place
- Learn to stay out of the narcissist’s way and keep your head low
- Align your goals with accomplishments that bolster the narcissist’s self esteem
** If you need help with a christian narcissist boss, contact us for coaching an assistance.**
How do you outsmart a narcissistic boss?
You outsmart a narcissist boss by using their psychological deficiencies against them and avoiding trigger points. Never stand out above your boss, avoid direct confrontation, reward them tactically when they are doing good things, and cut off positive emotional feedback when they are acting badly.
What does God say about narcissists?
The christian Bible teaches humility, turning the other cheek, and forgiveness when dealing with narcissists and those who wrong us. “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Do narcissists make good bosses?
Narcissist do not generally make good bosses. While narcissists are often perceived as effective by their superiors, this is most often due to their manipulations rather than the truth. Narcissist are toxic and poison company culture, reducing teamwork, encouraging dishonesty, and persecuting employees the best employees until they leave the company.