“Love bombing” is a common manipulation tactic that I have experienced from narcissistic bosses as a means of controlling workers. When we think of narcissists, most people don’t associate over the top praise, and so this portent technique goes unnoticed. Here is how you spot and counter love bombing from your narcissistic boss.
Love bombing is over the top praise and affection heaped on by narcissists to control their victims. Narcissists expect reciprocation and affection in response, and will punish victims by rapidly withdrawing. Counter love bombing by refusing to acknowledge or accept it, while redirecting the narcissistic attack.
Doing so is easier said than done. Here are all the details you need to know about countering a love bombing narcissist boss.
What Is Narcissistic Love Bombing
Not exactly sure if you narcissist boss is love bombing you? Here are some of the signs —
- Your boss compliments you for things that he normally would
- Your boss brings up praise for you out of nowhere
- Your boss makes sure that you are present and listening when he praises you
- Your boss is constantly finding new things that you do well
- You can do no wrong in their eyes
- Other people are blamed for your mistakes
- Your boss won’t hear any justified criticism of your behavior
Narcissistic love bombing is non-stop, without a seeming start or end. To the casual observer, it may seem justified or even like your boss is just being supportive.
This is because narcissists are incredibly adept at making people like them, if they have a mind to.
The victim is most likely to notice love bombing before anyone else. But, many people won’t notice because they like the positive attention. They are seduced in to dependence willingly.
Narcissistic love bombing is related to gaslighting — lies that make you question your own grip on reality —
Why Your Narcissistic Boss Is Love Bombing You
Narcissists are individuals who are addicted to positive perceptions of other people, due to a psychological deficiency. Psychologists believe many narcissists are created due to difficult childhood circumstances, although there are cultural and genetic components to narcissism.
For more information on detecting narcissists, and understanding how they work, check out these articles —
- Tell-Tale Signs of a Covert Narcissist | A Fool Proof Test
- Signs of a Narcissist | 21 Behaviors of the Classical Narcissist
Love bombing is one of the techniques that narcissists use to control other people in order to manipulate them in to providing the positive feedback they desire.
By showering you with love, the narcissist is hoping to train you to depend on and anticipate their praise. They want to make themselves seem fun, attractive, and desirable.
Love bombing is particularly common early in your relationship with a narcissist. They want to make sure that you won’t discover what they really are, and ensure that you won’t leave of your own accord.
In some cases, narcissists identify their own sense of accomplishment with you. Temporarily, you might be the golden child. And, by praising your they are covertly praising them self.
Eventually the honeymoon period will end, and your narcissistic boss will have reeled you in sufficiently to use more aggressive and destructive tactics on you.
How to Counter Your Narcissistic Boss When Love Bomb You
Here are a few things you can do to prevent yourself from falling victim to love bombing —
Don’t become emotionally invested in your bosses compliments. Realize that these compliments are not sincere or in your best interest. Treat their words like noise, and limit your emotional reaction just as you might with an elderly or psychologically impaired person who can’t control what they say.
Don’t acknowledge your boss’s excessive praise. At times, you may have a hard time maintaining objectivity with your boss’s onslaught of love. In this case, you should revert to the misunderstanding or ignoring the praise directed at you. For instance you can —
- Pretend you don’t know that they are talking about
- “Mishear” their praise as praise for another person or the boss them self
- Only respond to the non-praise parts of what they said
- Change topics and become very interested in something else
- Redirect with praise for the boss back
Avoid praise situations. In some cases you might have to avoid or limit the possibly for love bombing by: avoiding any special work or tasks; giving the group credit for your work; working away from your boss.
Dealing with a narcissistic boss is never easy, and love bombing is just the beginning. Make sure you take the proper steps to protect yourself, as discussed in these two articles —
- How to Overcome a Narcissistic Boss
- How to Manipulate a Narcissistic Boss | Antinarcissism Employee Tactics
How long does love bombing last with a narcissist?
Love bombing from narcissists will last so long as they are getting what they want from you, and they are not bored with you. Generally, love bombing is present in the early part of a relationship with a narcissist, and will fade away to more aggressive manipulation tactics after they feel they have hooked you in to their world.
What is narcissistic love bombing?
Narcissist love bombing is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist overloads their victim with affection, praise, and compliments in order to develop dependence and ingratiate themselves with the victim.