All narcissistic sisters are jealous of their sibling, especial other girls, and try to make their life a living hell. Worst of all, they try to make you think you are crazy for feeling that they are attacking your. Here are nine signs that your of a jealous narcissist sister to deal with.
Narcissistic Sisters Have Irrational Jealousy Towards You
The most important thing to realize about narcissistic siblings is that their jealousy toward you is not founded on anything that you have done. You do not deserve their passive aggression or abuse.
In reality, a narcissistic child would much rather be an only child. They want to monopolize the attention of your parents and family members. They feel entitled to your share of everything.
Their hatred or jealousy is rooted in their psychological deficiencies, rather than anything you could have done.
Even if you are kind and loving to them, the will not love you back. You have to develop an independent and compassionate perspective, and put boundaries in place to overcome their evil. More details here:
Narcissistic Sisters Will Tell You Parents About Everything You Do (or Lie About It)
Because narcissist sisters want all of the attention, they will do antyhing they cane to make you look bad to your parents.
This will probably include telling them, openly or in secret, about everything wrong that they see you do. They may also try to frame you to make you look bad. Accuse you of stealing things that they know you didn’t. Not tell you things you about rules from your parents so you break them, then lie that they did tell you. Make up things that you said.
“She used to buy ugly lingerie, and would accuse me of stealing it from her. When I would ask her why she thought that I took it, she would reply ‘Because you think you look better than me!’”
Many times narcissistic children may have narcissistic parents. Children of narcissists are more likely to be narcissists themselves.
It could be that your sister is doing this to play in to one of your parent’s control tactics. Narcissistic parents often choose one child to be a scapegoat and another to be the golden child. I described in details how this works in the following article.
They Will Try to Seal Your Friends or Boyfriend
When your sister is a narcissist, she will constantly try to show that she is better than you. Especially in the eyes of your friends.
Some examples I’ve seen of this —
- One narcissist sister would throw parties on her sister’s birthday, and invite her sister’s friends to go.
- Another narcissist sister slept with all her sister’s boyfriends
Narcissists, especially women, have a tendency towards promiscuity because it gets them what they want and plays in to their fantasy about how attractive they are. I’ve written more about promiscuity in narcissistic women here —
- Why Are Narcissist Jezebels | Bible Stories, Spirits, and Historic Narcs
- Why Some People are Narcissists | How One Gets a Narcissistic Personality
They Will Compete with You On Everything
Judgmental narcissist sisters have a way of making everything in to a competition. Simple things like —
- The clothes you wear
- How good you are at school
- Friends and lovers you have
- Clothing and shoe size
One sister of a narcissist described her experience:
“If I change my hair color, she’ll ridicule me, tell me how ugly the color is and how ugly I am, then she’ll dye her hair the exact same color and gaslight everyone into believing that she had always had that hair color and that I was the one bullying her about it.”
They Judge You Incessantly (and Let You Know It)
To a narcissistic sister, you will never be good enough. They will contently try to find evidence to convince you, and everyone else, that you don’t measure up the standard that they set for you.
Another example I came across is this:
“When I was a teen and she was in her mid-twenties, she used to call me into her room to tell me stories about some awesome teen girls who were so much better than me and more active than I was. She would go through this long boring tale about them, and she would always end the stories with, ’I wish my little sister was cool like that. Too bad you’re too pathetic!! Good god, she did this almost daily.”
Judgment will be delivered both openly, ie saying it directly to your face, and passive aggressively. This can man rolling of eyes, scoffing, petty little comments, etc. I’ve written more about overcoming judgment from a narcissist here:
They Dishonor Your Boundaries
Narcissistic family members feel entitled to your attention and everything you own. Further, they love show that they have control over you, and that you can’t stop them from pushing your buttons.
They seek out and push through any personal boundary that you have. Including:
- Going through your stuff
- Reading your messages
- Stealing or borrowing what you own
- Destroying things you love
- Eavesdropping
They Must Be the Center of Attention
If you find yourself in a place where you are getting lots of positive attention form parents, friends, or lovers then your sister will do anything she can to bring the focus of attention back to her.
Initially, she may try to one up you. Or, create a bigger spectacle so that attention is drawn away from you.
If that doesn’t work, she will probably try to put you down by bad mouthing you or lying about you so people change their opinion.
Lastly, she may try to act out to bring herself more attention. Breaking rules, committing crimes, or even violence are not too far for a narcissist sister to go when she needs to bring the attention back on her.
They Spread Rumors or Stories About You
It is common for narcissistic sisters to try to keep you down at school or work by spreading stories (true or made up). The last thing that they want is for you to be more popular or more well liked than them.
The frequency and severity of the stories they spread depend on how threatened they are by you. However, nothing will stop them completely.
Usually, a narcissist will try to avoid taking responsibility for the rumors. Instead, they will pass them through a third party to shirk responsibility, in a process called triangulation. They may even pretend defend you from them in a public display of false compassion and sisterly love.
They Feel Entitled to the Best of Everything
A narcissistic sister feels like they deserve the best of everything, and you should give it to them.
In one case I’m aware of, a narcissistic sister convinced her dying mother to sign the deed of the house over to her. Then, when the mother died the narcissist kicked all of her siblings out and claimed the house as her own. Because of her tricks, her siblings had no legal recourse to claim their share of the property.
In another example, a narcissistic sister attempted to convince her sister to be a surrogate mother for her child, because she didn’t want to deal with the trouble of childbirth.
