People often ask, what can I do to scare away the narcissist in my life. Scaring a narcissist isn’t very difficult if you know their weak spot. Here are four practical ways to scare away a narcissist.
Note: take care with these tactics as individuals provoking a narcissist or other mentally ill persons may incur retaliation. Use this knowledge wisely and ideally with the guidance of a qualified coach or mental health professional to guide you.
Threaten to Expose Them
Narcissists thrive in an internal that they weave around themselves and attempt to make into a reality. Their greatest fear is that their fake “truth” might be exposed as a lie. Or that they might be publicly humiliated because of it.
While on the exterior, a narcissist seems self-confident and assured of their ability, subconsciously they feel that they aren’t good enough and fear that they aren’t as good as they make themselves out to be.
The first thing to do is understand exactly what tactics they are using against you. Once you know their tricks, it is easier to turn them against the narcissist. See the following article for help on this front —
When you can demonstrate to a narcissist that you know how they manipulate you; you have the power to demand that they leave. The better you understand the narcissist, the more they will fear you because they fear their own inner demons — which you are exposing with your knowledge — more than they fear any human.
Find Evidence of Their Lies
Having documentation that a narcissist is a liar is an excellent way to scare them away. Lies are an indispensable part of a narcissist’s regimen of control. When you have irrefutable evidence that they are a liar, the narcissist will be happy to keep away from you.
Some ways that you might discover evidence of a narcissist’s lies —
- Delve into their past — schools, previous relationships, old friends — because narcissists frequently lie about or exaggerate their past
- When you discover suspicious activity — like when they sneak off to strange places or keep secrets from you — ask the narcissist to explain it nonchalantly hoping they will slip up and contradict what you’ve already seen
- Keep detailed records of their work and behavior to the extent which is legal or ethical given your relationship
Be aware that even if you have rock-solid proof that a narcissist is lying to you, they will almost certainly try to refute it. Narcissists are brazen in their ability to baldfaced lie to your face to cover up to protect themselves. And, what’s worse, convince you to believe them.
Effectively Counter Their Manipulation and Abuse
Showing a narcissist that their tricks no longer work on you is often enough to send them packing by itself. Narcissists thrive on their ability to manipulate you and your perceptions of them. When they lose this power over you, they often choose to move on because they fear a lack of control.
For a detailed guide and shutting down a narcissist in their tracks, see: “How to Checkmate a Narcissist and Stop Them in Their Tracks”.
Catch Them in a Situation They Can’t Talk Their Way Out Of
Corning a narcissist is a powerful way to scare them away.
However, take care that you don’t put too much pressure on a narcissist to act out or seek to destroy you back. Sometimes the best move is to refrain from scaring away a narcissist and instead make your own space with a total break. See —
- How to Go No Contact with a Narcissist & Make It Out Alive
- Firing a Narcissistic Employee | Protecting Yourself and Your Business
- How to Overcome a Narcissistic Boss
Related Questions
What scares a narcissist the most?
A narcissist is most scared of being humiliated and exposed as a fraud in public. In particular, they fear their accomplishments might be diminished, their reputation destroyed, and their manipulative powers removed.
What drives a narcissist insane?
Narcissists go insane when they feel unable to control other people’s perceptions of them. This can be because someone exposes them, their attractiveness fades, or they lose positions of institutional power that they previously thrived on.
