When dealing with a narcissist, sometimes we have to “flip the script” and make them just as mad as they make us. Luckily, if you know what you are doing, it is easy to get the upper hand over people with narcissistic personalities. Here are nine things that drive a narcissist crazy!
Calling Out the Narcissistic Abuse
** Narcissists hate when you tarnish their perfect image of themselves.** Luckily for use, this is very easy to do when you shed light on their bad behavior, manipulations, and abuse.
When you want to make a narcissist mad, expose them directly. Tell them, “I see what you are doing by…” and lay out the tactics they are using against you. Expect them to deny or call you crazy. But, don’t let them squirm out of the discomfort they feel knowing that they are losing their control over you.
Not sure what forms of abuse you can call out. See the following article for examples of common forms of narcissistic abuse.
Challenging the Narcissist
To a narcissist, every part of life is a competition that they must win. Make them feel the pain by taking them up on this challenge — and winning.
When around a normal person, narcissists feel better than everyone else because they come out victorious in little competitive moments that only the narcissist knows is a competition. They have no qualms about winning a one-sided race.
End this practice for them by pointing it out every time that you do something better than them. Challenge them to little competitions that you know you can win — like getting dressed faster, having a nicer …, talking to more people at the party, etc. And, don’t let them talk their way out of it when they lose.
Living Your Best Life
Being yourself and enjoying life without the narcissist really makes them angry. The story that narcissists tell themselves is that they are the greatest part of everyone’s life that they interact with. With the narcissist, everyone else is lost.
Disprove this narrative directly by focusing on yourself and living your best life. Take up hobbies that you enjoy. Find new and interesting friends. Go on trips. Plan exciting activities.
And, most importantly, enjoy what you are doing. Trying to make things look good to miff the narcissist is actually just another form of narcissism on your part. The key to winning over a narcissist is to love your life and stop thinking about them altogether.
Blocking Their Narcissistic Triangulation
Narcissists will send people your way to convince you that they are right and you are wrong. Identify and cut off these people to show the narcissist just how powerless they really are over you.
Valuing Yourself over the Narcissist
Putting yourself first in a relationship infuriates a narcissist because, in their imaginary world, they deserve to be the center of everything. Narcissists will do many things to try to return attention to them —
- Causing havoc
- Whining or acting like the victim
- Accusing you of being self-centered (yeah, right!)
- Badmouth you to other people
There is nothing self-centered about making yourself a priority in a relationship with a narcissist, although they will have every second of it.
Just not caring about their drama really upsets a narcissist. All narcissist live in their own little world and survive by making up a story about their life where they are the main character, and everyone else is a disposable supporting role.
When you refuse to share in this delusion and implicitly agree to the lies they tell, it puts the narcissist in a place of fear. They will do almost anything to get you back on board, playing along with their fantasy.
Going No Contact with the Narcissist
The ultimate weapon against a narcissist is to cut them off completely and go “no contact.” I have written a detailed article on how to accomplish this the right way —
Laughing In Their Face
When you ridicule a narcissist, you show them that they aren’t as great as they think they are. In response, the narcissist is likely to lash in any way that they can. The anger of being made fun of will haunt them day and night.
Using the Gray Rock Method
The gray rock method is a way of dealing with a narcissist where you make yourself boring and uninteresting. By being lame and low energy around a narcissist, they eventually lose interest and go away.
However, if you make this transition suddenly, they will realize what you are doing and get ticked off because you are trying to lose them. The best part is that, by using the gray rock method, there is nothing that they can use against you. Unlike the more aggressive methods on this list, no one can blame you for being boring.
What drives a narcissist insane?
Narcissists go insane any time that their authority or world view is challenged. This means calling them out on their manipulation tactics, removing yourself from their control, or just not valuing them very much.
What happens after a narcissist gets mad?
When a narcissist gets mad, they will lash out somehow, although they may or may not wear their anger on their sleeves. Narcissists will typically either resort to manipulation methods that have worked on you in the past or spread rumors about you.